So Much For My Happy Ending
by Tsubasa-rin
Summary: After Terra's betrayal, Beast Boy reflects on the time they spent together and how he feels about her now.


Author: TsubasaNoHikari  
  
Title: So Much For My Happy Ending  
  
Song: My Happy Ending  
  
Artist: Avril Lavigne  
  
Started: July 31, 2004  
  
Finished: same day  
  
Notes: Songs in **bold  
** Flashbacks in _italics  
_  
I wrote this after visiting a friend's house who had cable, watching the Teen Titans new episode "Betrayl", and then hearing this song on the radio on the way home. Enjoy.

................................................................................................ 

****

**So much for my happy ending  
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...**

.

There was a dull thudding sound coming from...somewhere. Knocking. Someone was knocking on my door. It didn't really matter. Nothing really seemed to matter anymore.  
  
She softly called out my name in the dark and my heart leaped to answer. Was it- could it-... No...no. It was just Starfire. My heart sunk again, back down into the darkness. Like a stone sinking slowly into the depths of the ocean, down, down, down into the darkest crevices of the earth, where light could no longer reach it.  
  
Starfire was so nice, always trying to cheer everyone up. She hated to see a sad face. She tried to cheer me up too. But... I didn't want to see anyone. Not right now. Maybe later. Maybe later I'll plaster on a fake smile, tell everyone I'm fine and that when we rebuilt the Tower that we should get a bigger TV. Right, that's what I'd do. I don't want, nor do I need, their pity. I know they're just trying to help, but in reality they just made it worse.  
  
I heard footsteps fading outside in the hallway. Starfire had left. I opened my eyes and stared at the dark ceiling, taking in the dim glow of city lights that filtered in through my window.

.

_ "Do you trust me?" She extended her gloved hand to me. A soft smile was on her lips, not quite reaching her sorrowful blue eyes. My heart somersaulted in my chest and I replied instantly.  
  
"I trust you more than-"_ No...NO!

.

I didn't trust her! I didn't! I would never, never ever again! I... I... How could she do that... to me?

.

_ "LIAR!" I smashed my fist into a mirror, breaking his image. Another, and another, and another. My fingers throbbed. I didn't care. I wanted to... had to... needed to. Needed to hurt him. To make him pay. Nobody touched the people I cared most about. Nobody! It wasn't true, it couldn't be true! I didn't believe it was true. My head says she's a traitor and a lying bitch. My heart says she would never do that and that he's the liar, not her.  
  
And now she steps out of the shadows, from where she was hiding, watching me. Her eyes are more sorrowful than ever. "...Terra...tell me it's not true."  
  
TELL ME! My head was screaming.  
  
_.

****

**Let's talk this over  
It's not like we're dead  
Was it something I did?  
Was it something You said?  
Don't leave me hanging  
In a city so dead  
Held up up so high  
On such a breakable thread**

****.  
  
But it's true. It's always been true. And I fell for her anyway. I'm so stupid.

.

****

**You were all the things I thought I knew  
And I thought we could be**

.

_ "You have no friends," I told her evenly. Flatly. Coldly.  
  
Her sad expression had always tugged on my heartstrings. It always made me just want to take her in my arms and hold her until she smiled again. But it was nothing compared to this. Her jaw slacked and she stared at me slightly open mouthed. The shock passed and then the truth sunk in. Her azure eyes really did look like the_ _ocean now, as they glistened with tears. She closed her mouth and the hand she had extended to me lowered and she tugged absently at her shirt. Over the place where her heart was._

__

.  
  
**You were everything, everything that I wanted  
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it  
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away  
All this time you were pretending  
So much for my happy ending  
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...**

.****  
  
What did you owe Slade? Why was he controlling you like that? Why did you let him?Was the girl I went out with tonight, the same stony-faced one that left with the enemy? How could he know you better than I did?

.

****

**You've got your dumb friends  
I know what they say  
They tell you I'm difficult  
But so are they  
But they don't know me  
Do they even know you?  
All the things you hide from me  
All the shit that you do**

****

.  
  
Why couldn't you just tell me?

.

****

**You were all the things I thought I knew  
****And I thought we could be  
You were everything, everything that I wanted  
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it  
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away  
All this time you were pretending  
So much for my happy ending  
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...**

****.  
  
I moved my arm, reaching for the covers to pull them over my head. Maybe I'd find refuge in my dreams. Instead, my hand touched something hard and cool. I jerked my hand away immediately, as if had been burned. In a way, it had. I sat up, ignoring the dizzy feeling from lying down for so long, and grasped the heart shaped box in both my hands. I held it over my head, ready to chuck it across the room as hard as I could. Then... then I lowered my arms and ran my thumb along the edge of the lid. I hugged it to my chest. I felt empty inside and a tingling sensation had begun in the back of my throat. Dammit. I knew what was about to happen.

.

****

**It's nice to know you were there  
Thanks for acting like you cared  
And making me feel like I was the only one  
It's nice to know we had it all  
Thanks for watching as I fall  
And letting me know we were done**

****

.

Why does she affect me like this? I threw the box down onto the floor and curled up into a ball on my bed, burying my face in my knees.

.

**You were everything, everything that I wanted  
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it  
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away  
All this time you were pretending  
So much for my happy ending  
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...**

.

And let the tears fall.

.

**You were everything, everything that I wanted  
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it  
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away  
All this time you were pretending  
So much for my happy ending  
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...**

**.**

**.**

**.**

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